Letting Go

So hard, right? Relinquishing control is tough one, I know. What’s funny is that we will not let go of our weight. Now, I am not talking about that kind of weight, but a weight that can bog and confine you. I am talking about the weight of stress, weight of emotional distress, weight of control, weight of doubt, worry, regret, addiction, low self-esteem, and the list can seriously go on and on. There are so many things that weigh us down and cause us to postpone the person we are meant to be. I am sure many women struggle with at least one weight I mentioned above. I think the saddest part is that most of us allow that weight to run our lives. We carry it around with us like it’s our old childhood pal. Somehow, we convinced our minds to think that we cannot live without it and if we let go, chaos happens. When in fact, not letting go causes chaos. Any of this sound familiar? I know it is near dear to my heart.

I’ve struggled with most of the topics above. Stress? Emotional stress? Worry? Doubt? Control? Regret? Low self-esteem? Yep, all old friends of mine. What’s crazy is how long I held tight to those old pals. I struggled all through high school and college. My mind was a battle ground. I worried about not being good enough for Zachary. Was I pretty enough? Would he like me more if I was more fit? Is he thinking about other girls? I seriously tortured my soul with these thoughts. And if that wasn’t enough, control skipped on in. I planned out my whole life, tried to control my engagement, career, marriage, friendships, etc. Pretty rough, right?

The best part (and perhaps most of us do this) is that beautiful mask I wore.  I never was not myself but struggled internally. I think this is more common than not. We are never not ourselves but missing out of the potential of true identity. It wasn’t until I had an angry outburst over nothing that I realized enough was enough. God brought me this far, so why am I letting control, doubt, and worry run my life? I was letting the weight of the enemy control my life instead of the freedoms of God.

I finally let go and let God. I seriously think Jesus walked around with a megaphone yelling, “SHE DID IT! SHE LET GO AND LET ME IN! FINALLY!” I dropped the mask, and my identity shined through. I became the woman I was meant to be and let her explode in development. Since then, that life I tried so hard to control did a 360, and the life I am pursuing now is so much better. I allowed myself to be me and it is refreshing.

So, my question to you is what are you holding on to? Be like Elsa and let it go. Be you! Drop the worry, doubt, and control. Engulf in the freedom God offers. Become the queen you are meant to be. Queens do not walk with a ball and chain attached to her legs. They walk tall with elegance and grace. God will bring you up from the ashes and have your beauty burst through. Elevate you walk and let who you are explode with fire.   

Here’s to letting go,

Kinsley