Craziness < GOD

Life gets super crazy, right? You run around all week long and look forward to the weekend. During the week you go back and forth from all types of activities that keep you busy. Hope is on the horizon though; the weekend is ahead. But doesn’t that breather feel like it lasted for less than a second? Then it’s back to an alarm clock filled week. Will life ever stop being so hectic?

I’ve been hard core struggling with this feeling for a while now. I feel at a steady rate of constant. Constantly at school, constantly at work, constantly doing homework, exams, get togethers, climbing, church, working out etc. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE climbing, church, get togethers, and whatever else I enjoy (not so much school work), but sometimes it feels exhausting, right? Recently, I have been worn out. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am in a desperate need of a family visit (haven’t seen my family in 8 months), of school to end, and of summer to begin. I am in desperate need of a BREAK. Anyone else feel the need of a break? Anyone else feel drained? We live in a society of constant movement and it is exhausting. But something came to me while I was in a yoga session.

Yoga is a wonderful way to shut yourself out from the world. To challenge yourself in many ways. Saturday challenged me spiritually (there was some definite physical challenges though 😊). We were in the star position (you literally look like a star), and the instructor said, “Take a minute to understand this position. Your lower half is full and grounded, while your upper half is open and vulnerable.” And at that moment I knew where my exhaustion was from and what I really needed a break from. I knew my foundation was strong and where it came from, but I let myself become vulnerable to craziness. I let my life be consumed by school, work, tiredness of church, tiredness of distance, and tiredness of life. I didn’t need a break from what my current life holds, I needed a break of taking a break from God. I shouldn’t have let myself be vulnerable to life but to God. I needed more Jesus (anyone else relate?).

Truth time. I do not read my Bible like I should. I do not have the relationship with God like I want. My submission to life caused me to distance myself from God. Not in a bad way, but in an apathetic way. I didn’t really concern myself with spiritual health. It is a hard truth to confess, but I am like 99.9% sure a lot of people deal with this. Which is why I didn’t slap my wrist and punish myself for not being “good” Christian (lets face it, no one is a good Christian. Being a follower is hard work and a constant decision every day). I realized that we all have seasons. We are human, and in this season, I unfortunately gave to life instead of God. But guess what? I NEEDED to do that. I needed my life to become crazy in order to see God > Crazy. I needed to fit my life into God’s, not fit God into mine.

So, if you are feeling in a similar way, know that this is your season. Maybe this post will help you realize that we are human. We falter. We drop in the water instead of focusing on Jesus. The awesome part is, is that He is there with his hand ready to pull us back up. Jesus pulled me up from the water during yoga. I don’t need a break from the life I have been given. I need a break from the break I took from God.

Craziness < GOD,

Kinsley